Toxic Positivity vs Our Hope in Christ
Toxic positivity is the idea that we should be positive and optimistic at all times and deny what the situation is truly like. It's not Christian though.
Everything happens for a reason but you don’t know what you don’t know. — Tauren Wells, Joy in the morning
The open lines for Tauren Well’s songs reflect a view common in many Christian circles. But despite Tauren’s amazing vocals and composition, it’s not the truth.
In fact, this kind of theology rather than helping can cause more pain. The saddest part is that it’s so close to the truth that does provide deep relief and comfort.
So today I want to talk about toxic positivity that has infiltrated the Church and the true Christian hope we need to promote instead.
What is Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is the idea we need to be positive no matter the circumstances. It’s different from genuine optimism which recognises how things will improve. In contrast, Toxic positivity
- Denying the current situation
- Refuse to recognise how we feel
- Presenting a sure certainty with no evidence
The effect of this kind of thinking is that we repress how we feel and ultimately feel more guilty and shame for not being optimistic.
Toxic Positivity In The Church
As I’m sure you can predict, belief in an all-powerful God and the revelation of his eventual victory can be a breeding ground for these attitudes. It may seem like the obvious theology even. After all, God will see all things right. What’s wrong with that?
The answer is nothing but we need some caveats and details.
Everything doesn’t happen for a reason
There are many things going on today which are not in God’s will. As we have free will, and the effects of sin, there is plenty of suffering and pain that is outside of God’s will. Even though God will redeem these events, We shouldn’t deny that they suck and aren’t in his plans.
We may not see things turned right
I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. — Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
A classic verse of comfort for many, but its context should give us a warning.
God revealed to the Israelites that he had plans for them, but those plans were The Exile for 70 years. Most didn’t see their eventual restoration and the path there was through suffering.
So what’s the alternative?
How the Cross Rejects Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity would look at Jesus before the cross and start singing “Always look on the bright side of life”.
It would deny that the cross was painful. That taking on sin hurt. It would rush to the resurrection and forget all about the three days of silence.
It would shame the disciples for not remembering all that Jesus had said about his death and resurrection before his death. (Honestly, this one gets me. It's the kind of thing I do think from time to time when I read the gospel accounts. Jesus explicitly tells his disciples what will happen and yet they didn't get it. When Jesus talks to the disciplines on the Road to Emmaus.)
Jesus and Lazarus
When Jesus arrives in Bethany he is "deeply moved" and then weeps (John 11: 33,35). He knew what he was going to do; that in this case, everything WAS happening for a reason. That the end would be greater.
Yet he embraced their feelings.
In fact, John tells us that being deeply moved is why he goes to the tomb. That's the power of emotions even our difficult ones — they reveal what we care about and can drive us to positive actions.
The toxic positive version of this story would see Jesus telling everyone that "things aren't as bad as you think" or "cheer up" and then waiting for the situation to change rather than acting. Because that's one of the biggest differences between Christian hope and optimism.
Genuine Christian Hope
As Christians, we do have a genuine hope for the future.
That hope is based in a person, not the situation like optimism.
That person is Jesus, our living hope (1 Peter 1:3). In him we see how despite terrible situations with no reason for optimism, God can make things right in ways we can never predict — like a murdered then resurrected messiah.
How can we live and act with genuine Christian hope not toxic positivity
The first thing we should do is to acknowledge the current situation and not rush to the future. When someone is suffering, let’s not brush over that.
Next, we should focus on God's comfort at this time, not on a future restoration. It’s easy to fix our eyes on things getting easier, but sometimes God uses suffering to bring us closer to him.
Finally, we should highlight how the situation can be redeemed rather than saying it was God’s plan all along. We can see that God will do good in our situation but we may not go back to the way things were. It’s essential if we have chronic illness or ongoing suffering.
A true hope for suffering
Toxic positive is all too easy to slip into.
We don’t mean harm when we try to cheer someone up by pointing to the future, but that’s just what we can end up doing. Christian hope will bring us there, but it allows us to see things as they really are.
Not everything happens for a reason, but God gives a reason to everything that happens.